quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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