Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
