they need to just BURY HIM!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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