she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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