The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to make a zoo with you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
