Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
