is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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