My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
