So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize