i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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