tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
