Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
