that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
