I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
