So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
