I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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