Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
