I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize