i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
