Sry I called you an 8
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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