i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
