soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
