Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
