Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
