There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
