its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
