You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
