That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
