I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
