I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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