Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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