u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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