You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
