OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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