can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
