I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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