My nipple is on Facebook.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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