it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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