found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
