I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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