Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
