Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
