try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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