I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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