I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
