I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Enjoy the penises
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
