I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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