I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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