some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
