you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
