i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
