I just cut my nipple shaving
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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