Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
