An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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