dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize