I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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