apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
