Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im six kinds of drunk right now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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