after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
