So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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