you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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