Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
