I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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