so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
