We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
